Sunday, July 22, 2012
You Will Never Get What You Want Unless You Figure Out Why You Want It
Behind every desire is a reason. Getting this thing will fulfill something in us, something we are searching for, something we want in our lives. That is obvious but often times, we do not think deeply enough about the “why. We fail to do the self-examination that helps us uncover our core values, core desires, the type of person we really want to be, the type of life we really want to have. Without really getting to the root of why we want the things we want, we will never make any serious effort to get them. We will leave the things we want most in the realm of fantasy, filling our head with false beliefs about being unlucky and similar junk. We will lack motivation to work towards our goals. We will give up at the first sign of a challenge.
While I am still striving towards certain goals, in many ways, I am living my life exactly as I desire. I work from home, on my own schedule. My sources of income are mobile so I can work anywhere there is an internet connection. I am traveling the world long-term, spending extended amounts of time in places, really getting to know them. So many people tell me they are so jealous and how I am lucky and all of it is nonsense. I am not lucky…I was just like most of these people several years ago. I was working some typical office job that I could not care less about thinking that this was just what you do. I looked at certain people thinking they were ‘’lucky.’’ I had a vision of my ideal life but I was not doing much work towards fulfilling it. But then I took control of my destiny, something many of us surprisingly fail to do on any significant level.
Once I started really delving into personal development, I started thinking more about the type of life I wanted. I peeled back the layers of my desires to get at that core issue, ‘’why.’’ Why did I want the things I wanted, why did I want to be a certain type of person? Once I really discovered my core values, I knew that the only way I would be happy is if I made it a point to shape my life in way that reflected these values, that reflected the things important to me.
I wanted to work from home and have my own schedule because I discovered that personal freedom is something I value more highly than anything else. My deepest passion was to travel and not be tied down to responsibilities that I honestly did not want, responsibilities that many of us take on begrudgingly because we think that is what we are ‘’supposed’’ to do or because that is what it means to be an adult. Since I did not have the luxury of a trust fund, I knew I needed to find a way to be able to make money from anywhere, so I could travel in the manner I desired. So, I worked really hard at that and I did not give up even at times when my income was less than desirable and I could have easily given in to the temptation to get a steady paycheck.
Once I got clear on my ‘’why’’, I have never looked back. It was surely not easy at times, but I knew that I could not give up on the things I wanted. I knew that I would not be happy settling for a different type of life simply because it would be easier. If you want to work from home, why? If you want to go have your own business, why? If you want to go back to school to get that degree you never got, why? If you want to enter a certain line of work, why? If you dream to live in a certain place, why?
If you do not get clear on why you want the things you want, you will never get them, I promise you that. Without that clarity, you will never step things up to the levels required to live your dreams.