Unless you were blessed to grow up around enlightened beings unrestrained by the limiting beliefs and ways of thinking that are instilled in most of us from the time we are very young, you are likely carrying around some crappy baggage that is preventing you from living the life you really want and being who you really want to be. Most of us have not been that lucky. This is not to pass judgment or to criticize our parents, religious institutions, society at large,etc…, but it is pretty obvious that conformity, mediocrity and not expecting much out of life is the pretty prevalent mode of operation.
We have been instilled with lots of ideas about how things should be, what is right or wrong, what life is supposed to be like, what we are supposed to want. These forces are very powerful and they have shaped who we are, what we believe and what our lives are like. If you are happy with all of that, then great; we all want different things and have different desires. But, if you are unhappy with who you are and your current experience, then it is time for some serious evaluation. You have a right to be happy and if the current party line is not working for you, you have every right to reject it. Most of the stuff is arbitrary anyway and is simply the results of someone else’s thinking and opinion. There is no reason you have to accept it and live by it if you do not want to.
Like I mentioned earlier though, these forces are pretty damn powerful. Even if you reject them, it can still be pretty scary to go against them. Even if you know it is all arbitrary, you may still feel like you are wrong somehow, that because everyone else believes certain things and acts a certain way, that must be the right or proper way. You are human and likely riddled with doubts, insecurity, fear and anxiety. This can make doing what we truly want one of the most uncomfortable experiences we endure. We are fighting against a lot of stuff, both internally and externally, that makes it all too easy to be comfortable and just stay where we are, that makes it all too easy to just maintain the status quo and try to convince ourselves we are happy with our current lot.
Taking full control of our lives and complete responsibility for how it unfolds is empowering and something few people really do. More often than not, we are not direct participants in our own life, we just take what comes at us. We blame other people and other things outside of us for the things that happen. We believe we cannot have or be certain things. Learning to overcome all of this and charge full speed ahead towards the things we want to do, be and have is likely not going to be easy. You will constantly be coming up against resistance, old programming, and other people’s pessimism, criticism and often well-meaning dashing of your hopes and dreams.
The things we truly want usually lie on the other side of an uncomfortable decision or in most instances, a series of uncomfortable decisions. Not already having these things is caused by us and us alone and getting them means overcoming all the junk that stands between us and our desires; this is not an easy task. You will need to shift from victim mode to taking full ownership of your life. You will need to work on yourself and face some hard, honest truths about your shortcomings and work on overcoming them. You will need to do some uncomfortable questioning and examination. You will need to work on your mental tools, such as learning to shift your attention to things conducive to getting what you want rather than things that will block them. You will need to learn to deal with other people who may not be so supportive of your goals or who do not accept this new you.
But, with all of that being said, the journey is awesome. Making a decision to really live the life you want and become the person you know you can be is one of the most worthwhile goals we can set out to achieve. You do not need to settle for just good enough. Life may be comfortable now, but is it the life you want? If not, find the courage to make the uncomfortable decisions that will get you where you want to be, it is worth it I promise.