Beliefs are an interesting thing. They are far from being fact, but we believe in the things we believe so strongly, we often see them like that. But, they are not – facts cannot be changed but beliefs can. It is hard to see this sometimes because we can point to a million experiences in our lives that serve as ‘’proof’’ that what we believe and the way we see the world is in fact correct. But, I ask you to entertain the idea that the beliefs you held are what caused the outside events in your life and that if you started to believe different things, your outside experience would change to reflect these new ideas.
For many of us, the beliefs we hold are disempowering. They hold us back from living the life we truly want, they cause us to abdicate responsibility for our own lives to forces outside of ourselves, they limit our thinking about what is possible in this life, about the power we have to change ourselves for the better.
There is no one set of beliefs that is better to have than another. If people believe certain things and that works for them, great, proceed. But, I find that many people find a dissonance between what they want out of life and what type of person they want to be and the beliefs they hold about these types of things. This is where the problems start. Why does this dissonance happen? Because for most of us, the beliefs we hold are things that outside forces, like our parents and society at large, drilled into us over and over and over again. In most cases, what people believe is not based on any sort of deep thought or questioning, they were just told things and they accepted them. That uncomfortable feeling arises because these beliefs do not resonate with you, something does not feel right.
You may not want to have children, but you feel conflicted because even though every fiber in your being is telling you that you should not have kids, you have been taught to believe that is the ultimate fulfillment in life and that if you are a woman, that is just what you are meant to do. You may want to take on some sort of job that does not have steady, guaranteed income, but you were taught to believe that security is the most important thing in life and that you should find a steady job that delivers a paycheck every two weeks. You are in a horrible marriage and leaving it would be the best thing for you, but your religion has told you it is a sin to get a divorce. You want to cut ties with certain members of your family because they are horrible people who are toxic influences in your life, but you are taught to believe nothing is more important than family.
If the beliefs you hold are creating conflict within you, adopt new ones. It really is that simple, the hard part is rooting out the old you and the old way of thinking that has let arbitrary declarations rule your life up until this point. Remember, beliefs are not facts, they are just things you kept telling yourself or other people kept telling you over and over again. Your reality is not a reflection of some set in stone rules about what life is like, it is a reflection of the beliefs you have held up until this point and nothing more. If the beliefs in your life now are no longer serving you or no longer resonate with who you want to be and the type of life you want to live, adopt beliefs that reflect these things and empower you to find greater happiness, which is a very personal thing.