It would be great if there was some oracle we could consult that could definitively tell us if the decisions we are pondering or have already made are the right ones. We would not necessarily need to see our whole future laid out in front of us, but a simple yes or no would do wonders to soothe our uncertainty. Lacking the means to do this, doubt may naturally arise. We may feel we are making the right decision, but we really cannot know 100 percent can we?
We all want to be happy and enjoy our life and we naturally lean towards decisions that we think can accomplish this. We imagine all the good things that will result from the decision and we feel good. But, we also have a tendency for our minds to wander to potentially negative outcomes – again, doubt will tend to arise naturally here. We know taking that job will be a great opportunity, but what if we are not good at it, what if we do not like it? We know starting that business is a good idea because it is our passion and we could make money doing something we love, but what if the business fails, what if it is better to stick with the safe, secure job? While it is prudent to focus on the more desirable outcomes, once those doubts pop up, they can be pretty persistent and the negative feelings carry a greater weight that is harder to shake.
How many times have you been all gung-ho about doing something only to have your happiness deflated by someone else telling you that what you want is wrong, listing all the reasons why it will not work out, that you are making a mistake, that they would NEVER do what you are doing and list every single reason why? Again, doubt rearing its ugly head. You wonder if this person is right. They brought up all these points you never even considered and now your great idea does not sound so great.
I found the best way to quell doubt about our decisions in life is to regularly partake in self-examination. This type of thing sounds obvious but it is something many of us fail to do on a significant level. We live life never really knowing ourselves, who we truly are, what we truly want. This lack of examination is a tremendous breeding ground for doubt.
Failure to really know ourselves leaves us vulnerable to the opinions and beliefs of others. It allows the doubt to overpower and we end up not doing the things we want to do. The better you get to know yourself, the easier it will be to live the life you truly want and even when you have your doubts, they will not rule you. You will have a better idea of the things you need to do to get where you want to be and you will make decisions with greater confidence, not knowing the outcome will not be as scary.
Our unfamiliarity with ourselves is one of the key reasons we tend to give so much weight to what other people think about us and their opinions about our beliefs and choices. But, what they think and feel about us has nothing to do with us, it is all about them, their beliefs, their life experiences, their understanding of how the world works and how people are supposed to live. If your decisions are coming from a place of deep understanding of yourself, you will know you are making the right choices for you and what other people have to say about it will not affect you as much. That doubt that arises from wondering if other people know better than you will be greatly reduced.
Really think about who you are and what you want. Do not censor yourself or make judgments about your desires or the person you want to become. Who do you want to be? What do you want? Why do you want the things you want? Really pondering the answers to these questions is your best defense against doubt, a feeling that has the potential to keep you stuck living a life you do not want. Self-knowledge will help weaken this force.
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