Why Does Trying to Be Happy Make Me So Unhappy Sometimes?

When we decide to change our lives and increase our happiness, it is quite exciting. We all want to feel good as much as we can and devoting ourselves to this cause is quite worthy. We know there may be hard times, but we also know that the road will bring lots of good stuff too. Once we really get into the thick of this whole personal development thing, we may find ourselves feeling pretty unhappy a lot of the time. What the heck is that all about? Sometimes we may feel so unhappy, we may want to just quit. Though we want a better life, we sometimes wonder if all the crap we have to go through is worth it. We think maybe we should just settle for good enough and avoid having to go through all of this.

Truly living our lives as we desire and truly changing our thoughts, beliefs, habits and behaviors in a way that serves us better can be quite challenging. If we look at the number of truly successful, happy people in this world living totally true to themselves, it is small. Most of us did not grow up around these types of people and all the issues we have clearly reflect this. Most of us grew up around mediocrity, negativity, crappy beliefs and other insidious influences.

That stuff runs deep and the road to true transformation involves purging ourselves of all of it. We need to take a cold, hard look at our lives, our choices. We need to face our fears and our shortcomings. We need to make uncomfortable choices. We need to deal with the criticisms and judgments of others. We have to deal with the doubts and fears that come with trying to get the things we really want. We need to deal with the sometimes overwhelming anxiety, fear and frustration that comes with going off in new directions, being uncertain what the future holds and unwanted delays and setbacks.

The new you that you wish to create will constantly be coming up against the old you, your blocks, your limiting beliefs and the farther you get on your journey, the more these things will continue to come to the surface. Some days you will feel great and some days you will feel like crap, then you feel guilty for feeling like crap because you just want to be this perfect person who is happy and peaceful all the time. Perfection is not the goal but we so desperately want it and not being able to have it frustrates us. You can no doubt make amazing strides and become someone you never dreamed possible, but let go of the need for perfection. It will make the journey so much easier.

It is all of this stuff that scares people off the path or that leads people to give up. Having experienced some of the things I have and will continue to experience, I get it. But, it all comes with the territory and if you can find the courage to weather all of this stuff and just sit with the junk in the moment it arises and realize it is only temporary, you will get through it. On the other side of these unpleasant experiences is increased clarity and increased growth. It helps move you closer to the things you really want and the person you hope to become.

How do you deal with these moments? Please let me know in the comment section!

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