We all have our ideal visions of our perfect life and what would make us most happy. Unfortunately for many of us, these visions remain in the realm of fantasy and we regard it with the "wouldn't it be nice" type thinking. It is completely possible to live your life as you desire. The first step in reaching this goal is taking complete responsibility for your life and where you are at this moment in time. This is the only way you will empower yourself to take responsibility for your future. Owning the role you have played in creating your current circumstances might be a hard pill to swallow and you will resist it, but as you get deeper and deeper into your examination, you will see that in most instances, your own choices are at the crux of your problems. Sure, sometimes things are thrust upon us and really shake things up in our lives, things we did not anticipate or things outside of our control, but we always have the choice on how to view the situation and how to handle it. People who have had the most horrific things happen to them go on to do amazing things and live amazing lives and if they can do it, you can too.
The idea of personal responsibility is not a popular one. We do not like to think we have played any part in the negative things in our lives but for the most part, we are fully responsible. This does not mean you deserved to have these things happen to you but you must admit you brought them on in some way. If you hate your job and your boss but you choose to stay because you believe you do not have any other options or you are too afraid to do what you really want, you are responsible for the resulting unhappiness and frustration. This does not mean you deserve to be unhappy but you are causing it, not your boss. If you are too afraid to leave your bad marriage because you are financially dependent on your husband and he walks out on you one day leaving you with nothing, you have to take responsibility for not choosing to find a way to make your own money.
Again, it does not mean you deserve bad things or unhappiness because you played a role in bringing them about. This is an important distinction to make because people get very offended by the idea that they are responsible for the bad things based on their choices because they equate responsibility with deserving the bad result. It's like the smoker who gets lung cancer; he definitely brought that one on, but he does not deserve a deadly disease because of poor lifestyle choices.
You must realize the power you have in shaping the course of your life, and more importantly, you must decide to use it. We live so much of our lives thinking we do not have a choice. Yes, you do need money to support your family or pay your bills but this does not mean you have to do something you hate. We blame other people for our problems. If your boyfriend is a complete loser who is sponging off you, he is not to blame for your financial issues, you are for choosing to stay in the relationship with him. Everything we do is by choice and we are so ingrained to surrender our personal power to things outside of ourselves, we do not even realize the huge part we are playing in our own problems. We think we have to do certain things and that we do not have a choice but this is not true. The reality is, the other options often require sacrifice and great change and we do not want to be bothered or we are scared, so we convince ourselves these other options are really not options at all. Taking complete responsibility for our lives and really using the power of choice can be scary and uncomfortable at first, but if you want to improve your life, you need to own up to your part in all the things that have happened to you, good and bad. Some of the choices you need to make may be the hardest things you ever have to do, but if they are viable options to improve your life and you choose not to pursue them because of the difficulty they pose, that is all on you.
We love to give excuses as to why we cannot make certain choices but the excuses are the choices. You need to realize that you are the only thing holding you back. If you continue with the excuses and blaming outside circumstances, there is no way you will ever get what you want because you will always be depending on everything but yourself to get it. Only you can change your path and it all starts by acknowledging the part you are playing in all of it.
People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,
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