If You Have Nothing Nice to Say…Well You Know the Rest

If you have nothing nice to say, do not say anything at all. How many times have you heard this phrase or some variant? How many adults have said this to children? How many of those adults do you think heed this advice in their own lives? If you are the average human being, you are probably guilty of saying not-so-nice things many times over. How often we are guilty of this transgression varies considerably among us, with even the nicest people having engaged in gossip, judgment or a snide comment here and there. We all have our weak spot. Some of us are more prone to gossiping while others are more prone to passing judgment and rendering opinions on the lifestyle and choices of others. Some just engage in pure meanness, simply making fun of others.

Regardless of the nature of our unkind talk, it is a bad idea all around and our tendency to do this shines a light on our own junk , such as our insecurities, jealousies and areas of our own life where we are unhappy. This is something I think most of us know on some level but really do not give too much thought to. The next time you find yourself wanting to engage in any type of negative speak, give yourself a minute to think why you are compelled to say what you are going to say. Where is the desire stemming from? This could be uncomfortable because most likely the answer is going to reveal your own issues. Do you think you can resist the urge and just not say it? If you allow yourself that time to analyze why you want to pass judgment, gossip or make fun of someone, you can really discover a lot about yourself, which will benefit you in numerous ways.

If you can work on keeping your mouth shut instead of gossiping, judging and making fun, you will create a better energy in your life. In the moment, this behavior might make you feel better on the surface – you might have a good laugh at someone’s expense, someone else’s problems might make you feel better about your own life or someone’s mistake might make you feel superior. This is very surface however, and if you tune in to how you are feeling at these moments, you will see it is not good.

Talking in this manner is so second nature and unfortunately, it comprises a large majority of the conversations many of us engage in. Working on changing this behavior will certainly be a challenge and you may never reach a point where you NEVER say anything negative about other people, though it is certainly possible. Nothing good comes out of it and it is a waste of time and energy; it is a worthwhile exercise to become more aware of this behavior and try to reduce it as best you can. Of all the different personal development exercises I engage in, this has been one of the most powerful and beneficial. It is hard to explain exactly how, but the less time you spend talking smack about others, the better you will feel.



People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

The Wisdom of Silence

Most of us want more out of our lives, but exactly what that entails is often fuzzy. We say more money, a sense of purpose, a better relationship, a better job, to be happier. These are good starting points, but way too vague. We may think we do not know, but the answers are there, deep within us. We just need to dig them out. The answers lie in the silence where real thinking takes place.

Thinking is deliberate and requires us to go deep within and ponder. We often do not engage in deliberate thought. We are on auto-pilot all day long, with thoughts racing through our mind like a raging river. We react all day long to the things around us. We lack that time in silence where the answers lie.

This silent time is very hard for us. It is hard to be with just our thoughts. It can be agitating, uncomfortable, and forces us to face our reality and all our insecurities, unhappiness, and things we do not like about ourselves. We go to great lengths to avoid our thoughts and the deeper parts of our minds. We eat, watch TV, read, listen to music, and anything else that will drown out the mind chatter. If you can get over the initial discomfort of this one on one time with the inner you, the results will astound you. In this silence, you can get clear, get inspiration, and really figure out who you are and what you want. So many of us have lost our true selves somewhere along the way and we settled into lives that we chose for the wrong reasons including the wishes of others, conformity, security, fear, or just plain laziness.

If you desire to attract better circumstances, you need to get clear about what you want. Our mind is like a wild monkey jumping from tree to tree. We go back and forth between desires, constantly changing our minds. We are also afraid to commit or make decisions because we are still not quite sure or maybe we are sure but are afraid to take the plunge so we convince ourselves we are not sure. This stems from an unclear mind. When you take the time to be quiet and go within, these negative blocks dissolve. The keys to living a better life are so glaringly simple but our minds complicate it so much. Do not be fooled by the simplicity of a suggestion of silence to improve your life. It is the only way to gain the clarity that will help you move forward.


People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

The Biggest Barrier to Significant Positive Change? Other People

When you decide to make significant positive change in your life, it can be a bit scary. Depending on where you are starting from, you could end up becoming a whole different person-a person you never dreamed you could be. Adopting a whole new set of beliefs, habits and actions has lots of implications that can serve as barriers to this transformation and keep you stuck where you are. One of the biggest barriers is other people. You need courage to overcome them so you can continue your transition to the best you possible. You need to realize that you are embarking on a journey that few attempt,let alone even consider.

One of the biggest fears we have about significant change is the worry about how other people will perceive us. We care so much about what other people think and we dread being the topic of gossip, scorn or criticism. Bold change calls attention to us. The people around us begin to notice the differences. They might not understand. They might not agree. They might be jealous. They might think you are weird. They might be angry that the new you no longer serves their needs or interferes with what they want. If you want to achieve true happiness and live an authentic life being who you really are, you need to accept that most people around you are not striving for these same things-they might want to but might not believe they can or they are so ingrained in negative habitual thought patterns that they are not even aware of their capacity for change. As long as people continue to be unhappy with their own lives, they will always gossip and judge-and none of us are immune from the judgment of others so you need to learn to accept that this judgment will fly your way on occasion.

Another impediment to significant positive change is worrying about the impact it will have on your relationships. Deep inner work inevitably requires you to evaluate everything in your life-including your relationships. As you continue on your journey, you might find that you are no longer compatible with the people around you as you are no longer the same person you were when the relationships started. I am not saying to dump everyone who does not share your outlooks and beliefs but you might find that as your interests and goals change, the foundations that sustained certain relationships begin to crumble away. If you commit to becoming a more positive person, it might be hard to sustain relationships with people who are predominantly negative. If you develop a passion for pursuing a spiritual path and personal development, it might be hard to spend all of your time with people who do nothing but watch reality TV all day long. You might come to some sad realizations. For example, you might think you have a close relationship with someone but realize it is only held together by a shared love of something that you have come to realize is destructive for you,like drugs or getting black-out drunk every weekend. Once you remove this element, you realize that there is nothing else there. You might be scared if you change too much, you might have to face some deep down fears like admitting you are in a romantic relationship that is not working and probably never will. It can be scary to move away from people you have known your whole life but it might be necessary in some cases.

Most of us will continue to live on the surface and personal development and truly pursuing happiness will always be a low priority. If you decide to transcend this, you will most likely be the odd one out and you need to stay true to yourself and your journey. As you move on, you will find people who share your outlooks and beliefs and you will not be alone. You might find yourself moving away from some of the people in your life now. Do not judge them for not sharing your enthusiasm for living life to the fullest and transcending the fog that most of us live in. Most of us fear going that deep. Everyone has their own path; stay true to yours no matter what happens around you. It may involve certain people moving out of your life or changing relationships, but you will also attract people more in line with the new you.


People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

Want to Increase Your Happiness? Truly Be Happy for Others

Truly being happy for other people can be difficult sometimes. Of course, we are happy for our loved ones when good things happen to them, but if certain things are lacking in our own lives, other people's good fortune can serve as a reminder of our less than ideal circumstances. We may feel happiness for others, but the feeling is often tinged with jealousy. We are not totally focusing on the other person, we are thinking about ourselves. I do not think this makes us evil people and it can happen to the nicest among us. We certainly do not want to feel that way.

It has been my experience that the thoughts and feelings we have impact what happens in our own lives. Sending out good vibes will help bring good things to us. How, I do not know. I just know it seems to work that way. Truly feeling happiness for other people and the good things that happen in their lives is a great way to raise that vibration.

This can certainly be challenging because your first thoughts are likely to drift towards what is missing in your own life and wishing these good things were happening to you too. But, really work on focusing on that person and feeling happiness for them. Genuinely feeling good about the good fortune of others will create an amazing energy that will help good things happen to you too. You do not need to feel jealous because you can have the same things if you really believe you can and work on creating thoughts and feelings conducive to getting the things you want.



People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

Hard Times as a Path to Happiness

It is certainly a cliché, but hard times really are a tremendous opportunity to experience growth and start cultivating happiness. But, clichés are clichés for a reason…they are true. Most times when I hear about people living amazing, authentic lives, they usually relay that some tough time prompted their transformation. I know the death of my father prompted some serious reflection and change for me. Before he had died, I was interested in personal development and improving my life, but if I am honest with myself, my efforts were half-hearted compared to how I am now.

When we are going through difficult times, it really makes us think about our lives in a way that we typically do not when everything is ‘’normal.’’ We get comfortable in our circumstances and accept things more readily, even if we may not necessarily be happy with how our life is unfolding. When we are hit with hard times, we are forced into that uncomfortable space where real growth happens, a space many of us have difficulty entering willingly. These difficult times shine a spotlight on our shortcomings, our true feelings about our lives and what we are doing wrong. It can feel overwhelming because not only are we dealing with the specific problem that led us to this point, we are dealing with all the negative aspects of our lives.

But, this deluge can serve as a purifying experience where we can once and for all face all the junk we stuff down deep. This period offers a tremendous opportunity to gain clarity and direction; to discover who we are and what we really want out of life. If you are currently undergoing a difficult time, embrace it and let all the junk come to light. The only way to transform all of it is to admit it is there in the first place. Then you can work on changing it to good. Take part in some honest self-examination. Do not waste an amazing opportunity to create a better, happier life.



People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

The Universe Pays in Mysterious Ways

The link between giving and receiving has been pretty well established in terms of creating prosperity. The only problem is that we have a much harder time giving than we do receiving. One of the reasons that it poses such difficulty is that we all too often tend to look at the link between them too narrowly. We tend to look at everything as a direct exchange where we will get back the same thing we gave. The Universe however, works very differently. Often times, what we receive has no relation to what we give. Once we start doing more for others, we will begin to notice we are getting taken care of a lot better in ways we could have never anticipated. Of course there will be times that we will get back exactly what we gave, such as money.

One of the caveats of this of course, is to give without expecting anything in return. Sounds weird since we are doing these things to improve our own lives. It is kind of a complicated thing. But, it is all about the energy we create around the acts that is really the core of this. Do things happily, knowing you are helping others. Do not do them begrudgingly only thinking of your own gain. Know that you are scoring karmic points with the Universe. Giving becomes easier as you do it more. There is nothing wrong with the fact that part of you wants to do these things to create prosperity in your own life. It is not selfish.

Take advantage of all the opportunities you see to help someone...no matter how small. Do not pass it over because you cannot see the immediate advantage. Like I mentioned before, the rewards do not always mirror the actions that prompted them. If you have the opportunity to offer an organization a service you normally charge for at no cost, do it. This act might result in landing a high paying client or it could end up benefiting you in a way completely unrelated to your business. It does not always have to be a grand gesture or something that will only impact large numbers of people. Even if you only have an extra $10, buy some food for a local animal shelter or donate it to an organization. Increased giving always leads to increased receiving.

Giving makes us feel good and there is nothing wrong with that. When we feel good, we see things in a more positive light. We have higher energy and we focus on the good rather than the bad. Where we focus our attention plays a huge role in how our lives unfold and how we perceive things. Giving our money, time, services and anything else we can is one of the best ways to create the type of energy that acts as a magnet that draws in all of our desires.


People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

When the Judged Become the Judgmental

If you make choices that go against the grain of what most people are doing around you, you are going to stick out. You may be on the receiving end of criticisms. People may think you are wrong for doing the things you do. Your choices get questioned more. Having made a few unconventional choices in life myself, I get that it can be annoying. In an ideal world, people would mind their own business and keep their opinions to themselves. They would be more open-minded and accepting of different choices and ways of living. It can kind of create a you against the world mentality that unfortunately, can make you behave in the exact same manner.

You will probably be tempted to judge other people right back. A funny trend I notice about a lot of unconventional people who tend to be on the receiving end of frequent judgment is how judgmental they are. Constantly being judged can definitely be wearing and unless you are someone who has a level of confidence that permeates every fiber of your being, it will probably get to you sometimes. I definitely understand what prompts the behavior, but when we identify what is at the core of it -- our own insecurity -- we realize it is our problem and no one else's.

A lot of people deemed ''unconventional'' often hold great contempt for anything conventional. They mock people who live the average existence of a 9 to 5 job and a couple of kids. They think these sorts of people are all conformist sheep who secretly hate life and wish they could be more like them. Sure, some people may feel that way, but some may actually be very happy with that type of life. If that life is not for you, then it is good you did not go that route, but why the need to bash people who did? Why do you need to assume they are all miserable? Do you feel superior to them?

If you are someone living on the fringe in one way or another, I ask you to really think about what I have said in this post. Do you have a tendency to be just as judgmental about other people's lives as others are about yours? If so, examine that more deeply to see where that stems from. Is it possible you are still harboring some insecurities about your own choices, even if you know they are the right ones for you? Exploring this more may be uncomfortable, but well worth it because it will bring a greater sense of peace to your life. You will feel more confident about your choices and you will expend less energy trying to convince yourself you are better than the people unfairly judging you. In some ways, you very well may be, but it will not matter anymore.


People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

Kindness is Never Wasted

A few years back, I taught English online to people in China. I was able to have one-on-one interactions with the students and there was one who I sort of ended up counseling each time I was connected with her. She was struggling with many things and she sought my advice on a variety of issues. Living in the culture she lives in, it is not so easy to just do as you please and follow your dreams but she was determined to do it. She recently got back in touch with me over Facebook and even after all these years, she said my words continue to inspire her and have helped her tremendously. I am certainly no guru or sage, I was just sharing my thoughts and trying to inspire her to live true to herself. What seemed like run- of –the- mill advice to me was life-changing for her.

Anytime you have an opportunity to do something nice for someone, pay a compliment or give someone an encouraging word, jump on it. Even if it seems like a little, inconsequential thing to you, it may make a world of difference to someone else. You never know what is going on in someone’s life and a little thing might be huge for them. A few kind words or a kind action may very well restore someone’s faith in humanity, keep him from killing himself , boost her extremely low self-esteem or inspire him to take a major positive step in life. Or, maybe it just might brighten someone’s day temporarily. Either way, it is a good thing and the kindness will not be wasted.


People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

Is Your Happiness a Priority

If you are dissatisfied with any aspect of your life, what are you doing to change it? If you honestly assess how you use your time, are you spending enough of it, or any of it , trying to change these things? We are all guilty of using our time unwisely, but for some of us, this is a regular occurrence. We lament how we do not have enough time to engage in activities that would enhance our lives and help us become better people. I know children, jobs and other responsibilities are competing for our time. But , it seems a lot of people’s ‘’busy’’ lives include plenty of time to watch insipid television shows, or spend hours surfing the internet aimlessly. You could be spending these moments doing affirmations, meditating or reading books that expose your mind to more empowering beliefs or give you strategies to better your life to name a few things. This is not to say that you need to throw a brick through your television or that you can never engage in some mindless entertainment, but if these things are taking up all of the free moments where you have complete control over how to spend them, this needs to change .

People complain so much about various aspects of their life, but then do absolutely nothing to change it. They engage in the same routine day after day and devote zero time to trying to improve themselves or their circumstances. We have a tendency to blame other people for our problems and serve up excuse after excuse about why we cannot change our lives. Getting the things we want may involve hard work and making uncomfortable choices and we choose to stay where we are because even though it is not ideal, it is comfortable and familiar.

We all want to be happy with our lives. The fact that so many people make it such a low priority is kind of astounding to me. Sure, the path there may be difficult and uncomfortable at times, but the end result seems pretty worth it. The next time you find yourself complaining about your life or harboring negative thoughts about your circumstances, ask yourself what you have been doing to change these things you do not like. Take responsibility for your choices and your circumstances and make attaining happiness a priority. Start using your time better.


People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

Every Day is a Fresh Start

No matter what has happened in your life up until this point, no matter what type of person you have been, you can turn it around at any moment you choose. You or your life may not change overnight, but making the firm decision to shift course will put you on the right path. Anything that has happened in your past is irrelevant if you decide it will be. The power of our minds is amazing if we decide to utilize it. This power can transform us and it can transform everything about your life.

We all have our less than desirable personality traits that may be holding us back from achieving our full potential or that cause us trouble in one way or another. But these things are not permanent fixtures. You can be whatever type of person you want to be. You can learn to control anger, combat laziness, quell your anxious tendencies. You can start making these changes today simply by increasing your awareness of your behaviors and developing strategies to squash them when they rear their ugly heads. Maybe the answer will be in a book you read. Maybe a therapist can help you. It could be a million other things too…start looking for the answers and employing them TODAY.

If you do not like certain aspects of your life, take the time to get clear on what you would like your life to be like. You can change it, starting today, if you decide you will. Do not give too much thought to how you will get those things, that will work itself out as you go along, provided you remain committed to your vision. Do not look at your current life as a framework for determining what your future can be, what your life is like now has no bearing on what it could be.

It is never too late to turn things around. You are not stuck in the current circumstances you have created for yourself. You are not destined to live with your negative behaviors and personality traits, you can become whatever type of person you want to be. Decide that today will be the day that you start moving towards the life you want and the person you want to be.


People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

Dissolving Attachments to Outcomes

When we want something really badly and an opportunity presents itself for us to get it, we understandably get very attached to the idea of this particular opportunity working out. We may think this is our shot, this is how what I want is going to manifest in my life. Sometimes, this very opportunity pans out, but sometimes, it does not. This can be hard to take. That sense of disappointment can be overwhelming at times. We were so sure this was the path, this was the means and because it did not work out, we can start to doubt whether we will get what we are hoping for. We think our chance has passed, never to come around again. We lose our enthusiasm, we may even give up.

Dissolving our attachments to certain outcomes or to certain beliefs that we can only get what we want in very specific ways that we have figured out with our logical minds is vital if you are serious about making your desires in life a reality. The idea that we will get these things is the most vital ingredient and as long as we hold that idea in our mind, it will show up in our lives eventually. If we can hold firm to this idea, we will not get attached to certain opportunities. We can hope they work out, but if they do not, we know that does not mean the end of the road. We know that what we want is still on its way and will get to us somehow. This is challenging stuff. It is hard to have this level of faith. It is hard to suspend the actions of our logical minds, which try to figure everything out all the time. We cannot figure it out, however. We can never fully anticipate all the different ways our dreams can become a reality. We never know who we will meet, what information we will come across, what opportunities will present themselves to us.

If you are currently focusing your efforts on achieving a particular goal, I suggest shifting your focus from figuring out how you will get it or placing all of your hopes on one means of acquiring this thing. Most of your mental effort should be on cultivating the belief that you will get it in some way, shape or form. Of course, engage in any activities that will help you get what you want, but do not get attached to any of these means.

WHY Do You Want the Things You Want?

If you are like most people, you probably have not given nearly enough thought to the things you truly want in life. You may view your deepest desires as mere fantasies and resign yourself to living a life that you merely tolerate, but that is far from ideal. Too many of us think that is all we should hope for, that this is all we should expect from life, that we should just settle for good enough. We think only the lucky few truly get to live exactly as they wish to. You need to throw this line of thinking out the window. If you have not previously given this matter some thought, I ask you to. Really think about what you want in life, no holds barred. Do not think how you will get these things. Do not look to the circumstances of your past or present as a guide– none of that matters and you can start fresh anytime.

Equally important, or perhaps even more important, than figuring out what you want is why you want it. Without the why, you will never develop the drive to keep going after the things you desire. You will never commit to the personal development work you need to do to create the person you want to become and things you want to have. The why helps you truly discover who you are and what you value in life. Once you figure these things out, you will go after what you want with greater confidence because you know this is the right thing to do. You will make a conscious effort to make your dreams a reality. When it comes to making decisions, you will do it with greater ease because you know which ones will bring you towards your goal or move you further away from it. You will refuse to settle for anything less than exactly what you want.

My life really did not take shape in the way I wanted it to until I really gave serious thought to why I wanted the things I wanted. Figuring out why gives you an amazing clarity that many of us lack. Tackling this problem is the first step in creating the life you truly want and deserve.


People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life,


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here

What's The Best That Could Happen?

Generally speaking, we are conditioned to think pretty pessimistically. We are taught to be ‘’realistic’’. We can hope for the best but we should expect the worst. We do not want to get too excited about things because we do not want to be disappointed when they do not work out. We are afraid of looking stupid if we think positively about something and it does not pan out. Often times, things do not go as planned or we do not get what we want and this reinforces these ways of thinking. We think it is right to think this way because look how things go most of the time.

It has been my experience that the way I think about something is a huge part in how things have turned out in my life. Did you ever think for a moment that the thoughts and beliefs you are holding might be influencing the events in your external world? Is it possible that expecting a negative outcome is what led to the negative outcome? I know this line of thinking is rejected by many people…it seems magical, unrealistic or naïve. It defies logical thinking..a line of thinking that definitely has its place , but does not even come close to being able to explain many things that happen in our world.

If you are someone who rejects the idea that our thoughts influence our lives, I ask you to be open to the possibility that there may be some truth to it. Consider how the current beliefs you hold are serving you. If things are not going so great in your life, honestly assess if your current belief system may be partly responsible for your current circumstances. Try changing your thought patterns and see what happens. Experiment with this new way of thinking any chance you get. If you really make a commitment to stick with it, I promise you results.
Instead of expecting the worst, expect the best. Instead of preparing yourself for disappointment, prepare yourself for getting what you want.


People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life


Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here