As long as people are dissatisfied with some aspect of their own lives or harbor insecurities about some issue, they will continue to judge and criticize other people's way of life and their choices. Most of us have these issues to some degree, which means this type of behavior is likely here to stay. While it would be nice if we could change people's views or get them to see us in a more favorable light, this is rare. This means the only way you can deal with this type of junk is develop a thicker skin so that other people's issues do not get in the way of you living your life exactly as you desire, and in a way that makes you happiest.
Sure, in an ideal world, we would all receive unanimous support for our life decisions because everyone would realize we all want different things in life and that what makes one person happy is not necessarily what makes another person happy. We would all have respect for everyone else's life choices. This sure would be nice, but this is not how reality plays out. But imagine if it did? What a different world we would live in! Ah, to dream.
Everyone has their own filter based on various things, such as their life experience, religious upbringing and the like. Opinions abound and many have this burning need to classify things as right and wrong when most of the time, the issue at hand is a matter of preference. They just have to let you know all the reasons why the things you want to do are wrong, why they are a bad idea, why it will never work out, why you should do X instead of Y; the list could go on and on. It can be uncomfortable and annoying. It can make you doubt yourself. It can make you want to cave so that you can live an easier existence where you are not making waves or standing out in any way. But life really is not easier this way, because while you are making everyone else happy, you are miserable.
But, guess what? All of these reactions, all of the criticisms and judgments -- they are all about the other person. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. All the crap hurled at you is based on the other person's negative junk, whether it be jealousy, anger, unhappiness in their own life; again, the list could go on and on. Sure, the attack appears very personal because they are criticizing you, your beliefs, actions, ideas, etc..., but IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! Truly grasping that everything we do and say is about us and no one else is one of the most freeing realizations we can make. Just this one epiphany alone can give you the strength to withstand the criticisms from others regarding your beliefs and life choices.
A commitment to self-examination is imperative when trying to weather this storm. The more you get to know yourself, the more conviction you will develop regarding your choices because you will know at the deepest level they are the right choices for you. As you gain certainty, the effects of others' opinions will continue to weaken because you will know what you are doing is right for you and you will shield yourself from the doubt that creeps in anytime someone tries to tell you what you are doing is wrong, or that you should be doing X instead.
It is certainly challenging at times, I will not lie about that. But, you will never, ever live an authentic life true to yourself if you cannot learn to dismiss the criticisms of others. Failure to really grasp this will lead you to living your life based on someone else's arbitrary declaration of what is appropriate and inappropriate.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Have You Ever REALLY Thought About What You Want?
The first step to living a fulfilled life is figuring out what you want. That seems like a fairly obvious statement, but many people fail to really, truly give it thought. We may have vague ideas of what we want and more often than not, we are very clear about what we do not want; unfortunately, we spend much of our time thinking about that. Have you ever really thought about the exact things you want in your life? And I do not mean vague things like more money or a satisfying career, those are pretty obvious. Let's take the career thing for example. If you are less than thrilled with your professional life now, have you ever given deep, serious thought to what you would like to do or have you expended all of your energy thinking about all the reasons you hate your current position? And when I mean something you would like to do, I mean something that you would actually like to do, not some job that you think you should want because it meets societal standards of success, such as being high-paying or having some fancy title.
Some of us never gave much thought to what we wanted and have been living our lives based on what other people wanted for us and other outside pressures from the start. Some of us started out with a clear picture, but perhaps children, financial difficulties or some other issue threw us off track and we got swept up in a life we really never wanted. The good news is, no matter how you got to where you are now, you always have the power to change it if your current circumstances are less than ideal. It may be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but if you really want to change, you will have to undergo this discomfort.
Doing what we truly want in life can be difficult for many, and it is for this reason that I feel many people never give it too much thought. It can initiate an uncomfortable process of self-examination, facing up to our faults, taking full responsibility for how our lives have turned out and admitting our unhappiness and dissatisfaction with our current circumstances. Our current life may be less than ideal, but it is comfortable and familiar and allows us to continue being passive and accepting whatever comes our way, rather than facing the difficult challenges of creating our own reality. Living our lives 100 percent true to ourselves, our values and our desires can be scary sometimes, as it requires us to do things we have never done before and step way outside of our comfort zones. You may have to contend with criticisms and changing relationships.
If you are unhappy with any aspect of your life right now, I urge you to explore that more deeply. Why are you unhappy? What do you REALLY want in this situation? Take that time for self-examination, a process that can be uncomfortable but will reap huge rewards when you gain clarity about what you want in life and start taking the steps to get these things.
People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Some of us never gave much thought to what we wanted and have been living our lives based on what other people wanted for us and other outside pressures from the start. Some of us started out with a clear picture, but perhaps children, financial difficulties or some other issue threw us off track and we got swept up in a life we really never wanted. The good news is, no matter how you got to where you are now, you always have the power to change it if your current circumstances are less than ideal. It may be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but if you really want to change, you will have to undergo this discomfort.
Doing what we truly want in life can be difficult for many, and it is for this reason that I feel many people never give it too much thought. It can initiate an uncomfortable process of self-examination, facing up to our faults, taking full responsibility for how our lives have turned out and admitting our unhappiness and dissatisfaction with our current circumstances. Our current life may be less than ideal, but it is comfortable and familiar and allows us to continue being passive and accepting whatever comes our way, rather than facing the difficult challenges of creating our own reality. Living our lives 100 percent true to ourselves, our values and our desires can be scary sometimes, as it requires us to do things we have never done before and step way outside of our comfort zones. You may have to contend with criticisms and changing relationships.
If you are unhappy with any aspect of your life right now, I urge you to explore that more deeply. Why are you unhappy? What do you REALLY want in this situation? Take that time for self-examination, a process that can be uncomfortable but will reap huge rewards when you gain clarity about what you want in life and start taking the steps to get these things.
People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Friday, October 28, 2011
Why People Prefer Negativity and Pessimism
Negative and pessimistic thinking surely do not feel good. Based on how I view things, it definitely makes life much harder for us, harder than it has to be. Based on how some people think, however, this line of thinking actually makes life easier in many respects and this is why I feel many people gravitate towards it, even if it causes them great unhappiness and frustration.
Negativity and pessimism allow people to deflect responsibility from themselves. After all, if you truly buy into the idea that outside circumstances dictate your life and that your society, government, economy and what not determine your lot in life, you can easily sit back and just take whatever comes your way. You are able to avoid the uncomfortable process of self-improvement and taking full control of your life. You convince yourself that any of these endeavors are a waste of time and you can just exist as you are.
This line of thinking is used as an excuse to maintain the status quo and prevent you from making bold changes in your life. After all, the endeavor is likely to fail anyway, so why even bother? You may hate certain things about your life now, but at least it is familiar and consistent. This way of thinking makes life easier because you can avoid the scary feelings of trying something new. You will never have to worry about experiencing the feeling of failure if you never try to succeed in the first place.
For many, negativity and pessimism act as a wall, a kind of barrier that shields people from engaging in some pretty scary things, like facing our shortcomings, questioning our beliefs and taking full responsibility for our lives. People hide behind it because adopting a more empowering way of thinking is just too much work and it too uncomfortable. It would require a lot of energy and discipline. It just much easier to be negative and pessimistic and go into victim mode. I will admit that my commitment to personal development has required me to exert great effort and in many ways, my life would be easier if I had kept existing as I had been all those years ago. But, the things I have gained from changing my mindset are tremendous and worth every ounce of struggle.
People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Negativity and pessimism allow people to deflect responsibility from themselves. After all, if you truly buy into the idea that outside circumstances dictate your life and that your society, government, economy and what not determine your lot in life, you can easily sit back and just take whatever comes your way. You are able to avoid the uncomfortable process of self-improvement and taking full control of your life. You convince yourself that any of these endeavors are a waste of time and you can just exist as you are.
This line of thinking is used as an excuse to maintain the status quo and prevent you from making bold changes in your life. After all, the endeavor is likely to fail anyway, so why even bother? You may hate certain things about your life now, but at least it is familiar and consistent. This way of thinking makes life easier because you can avoid the scary feelings of trying something new. You will never have to worry about experiencing the feeling of failure if you never try to succeed in the first place.
For many, negativity and pessimism act as a wall, a kind of barrier that shields people from engaging in some pretty scary things, like facing our shortcomings, questioning our beliefs and taking full responsibility for our lives. People hide behind it because adopting a more empowering way of thinking is just too much work and it too uncomfortable. It would require a lot of energy and discipline. It just much easier to be negative and pessimistic and go into victim mode. I will admit that my commitment to personal development has required me to exert great effort and in many ways, my life would be easier if I had kept existing as I had been all those years ago. But, the things I have gained from changing my mindset are tremendous and worth every ounce of struggle.
People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
How to Get Something by Doing Nothing
The title of this post might be a little misleading...I really do not mean you can get something by doing nothing. What I mean is that you have this wonderful tool in your arsenal for getting things that you want that does not involve actually doing any physical task related to acquiring said thing. This tool is a mental one..it involves being in a light, happy state...a state that works like a magnet to attract good things to you. All too often, we force things on the outside because we are convinced that we need to do X, Y and Z to get our desired result. All the while, we feel stressed and frustrated. We force ourselves to do certain things, all the while feeling like crap.
Sure, we may still succeed working in this manner, but things will come a whole lot harder and may take a whole lot longer. The idea that we can bring things to us by doing nothing more than feeling good and light and proceeding with a feeling that everything is taken care of is not something most people buy into. For some, it may seem counterintuitive, while for others, it sounds like downright silliness and naivete. But, speaking from personal experience, there is great truth in this idea. When we are feeling good and light, things just flow better. Like I mentioned before, the post title may be misleading...you kind of have to do something. That something is cultivating the mental discipline to adopt this mindset and read the books or do whatever it takes to drive these ideas deep into your mind, where they can take root. You will have to work on shifting your mental state when it gets off track. You will have to discipline yourself to regularly meditate, visualize or affirm.
This idea can seem uncomfortable at first. If you are looking for a job, for instance, it may feel uncomfortable to spend a whole day just feeling good that things will work out when your instinct is to spend a stress-filled day preparing resumes and poring over websites with job listings. Of course, you will need to attend to these sorts of matters, but I assure you things will go a lot more smoothly if most of your time is spent cultivating a mental state conducive to getting what you want than spending every waking moment pounding the virtual pavement, with a sinking feeling that you will never find anything.
When you do need to attend to the tasks of the physical world, do it with a positive energy, not a negative one fraught with force and stress. When you are really feeling the pressure, the best thing to do is something else, anything else. Ideally, the anything else will be something that will help reinforce more empowering beliefs. For example, the other day I was feeling a bit stressed about some stuff and I turned right to an Abraham-Hicks video on Youtube, discussing the ideas I am talking about in this post. My energy picked up immediately. Again, this idea that simply sitting around and feeling good may seem like wishful thinking, or even lazy, to some. But I promise you, it is a key ally in getting the things you want in life.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Sure, we may still succeed working in this manner, but things will come a whole lot harder and may take a whole lot longer. The idea that we can bring things to us by doing nothing more than feeling good and light and proceeding with a feeling that everything is taken care of is not something most people buy into. For some, it may seem counterintuitive, while for others, it sounds like downright silliness and naivete. But, speaking from personal experience, there is great truth in this idea. When we are feeling good and light, things just flow better. Like I mentioned before, the post title may be misleading...you kind of have to do something. That something is cultivating the mental discipline to adopt this mindset and read the books or do whatever it takes to drive these ideas deep into your mind, where they can take root. You will have to work on shifting your mental state when it gets off track. You will have to discipline yourself to regularly meditate, visualize or affirm.
This idea can seem uncomfortable at first. If you are looking for a job, for instance, it may feel uncomfortable to spend a whole day just feeling good that things will work out when your instinct is to spend a stress-filled day preparing resumes and poring over websites with job listings. Of course, you will need to attend to these sorts of matters, but I assure you things will go a lot more smoothly if most of your time is spent cultivating a mental state conducive to getting what you want than spending every waking moment pounding the virtual pavement, with a sinking feeling that you will never find anything.
When you do need to attend to the tasks of the physical world, do it with a positive energy, not a negative one fraught with force and stress. When you are really feeling the pressure, the best thing to do is something else, anything else. Ideally, the anything else will be something that will help reinforce more empowering beliefs. For example, the other day I was feeling a bit stressed about some stuff and I turned right to an Abraham-Hicks video on Youtube, discussing the ideas I am talking about in this post. My energy picked up immediately. Again, this idea that simply sitting around and feeling good may seem like wishful thinking, or even lazy, to some. But I promise you, it is a key ally in getting the things you want in life.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Monday, October 24, 2011
Lather, Rinse, Repeat
When it comes to adopting a new mindset and set of beliefs, repetition is key. You have a lot of negative programming to overcome and the only way to root it out is to constantly be feeding your mind the good stuff. You will constantly be coming up against the old you and the old way of thinking, and the only way to keep these nefarious forces from from winning out is to keep exposing yourself to the new beliefs. Eventually, the new beliefs will win a permanent spot in your mind and the old, limiting beliefs will gradually lose their power. The "good stuff" comes in various forms ,and includes anything that drives these ideas home, whether it be a book, blog post, vision board or a video on Youtube. One of my favorite things to do is write down or speak a certain affirmation in my mind over and over again. The latter is a particularly great way to drill ideas home as you can do it any time, anywhere -- when you find a negative thought or limiting belief popping in your mind, you just simply repeat your affirmation over and over again. No one can hear you or can tell what you are doing, so no worries about dealing with criticisms and judgments regarding your activities.
Unless you are some sort of spiritual master, you are not immune from the poison of the negative thinking that pervades most of us. If you truly have an interest in using more empowering beliefs to your advantage, you must make a habit of exposing yourself to them on a regular basis. Even those who believe these things most strongly struggle with it sometimes -- that junk programming runs extremely deep. I know for me personally, things really did not start improving until I made a conscious effort to expose myself to better ways of thinking every, single day. Before that point, the old ways of thinking were still prevalent throughout most of the day and I was slowing my progress.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Unless you are some sort of spiritual master, you are not immune from the poison of the negative thinking that pervades most of us. If you truly have an interest in using more empowering beliefs to your advantage, you must make a habit of exposing yourself to them on a regular basis. Even those who believe these things most strongly struggle with it sometimes -- that junk programming runs extremely deep. I know for me personally, things really did not start improving until I made a conscious effort to expose myself to better ways of thinking every, single day. Before that point, the old ways of thinking were still prevalent throughout most of the day and I was slowing my progress.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Sunday, October 23, 2011
It's All About Perspective
Sure, some experiences are certainly less pleasant than others. Certain things can happen to us that can shake things up a bit or make us fearful about the future. No matter what happens though, we always have the opportunity to shift perspective, to choose what to focus on. No doubt this is challenging at times, but making the effort to shift perspective when necessary is well worth the effort. It will help us in creating an energy conducive to getting what we want and will eliminate a lot of unnecessary suffering.
I have been traveling, and have traveled to, many countries where many of the people are quite poor.In many instances, they will overcharge tourists for taxi rides and myriad other things. Most of the time, stuff like this does not bother me because I realize how little they make every day, and even when they are overcharging me, it is still ridiculously cheap for me. I have compassion for their situation and I do not take it personally. On days where I am in a bad mood, I notice it would bother me a bit more and I would find myself getting annoyed. This is a perfect example of how perspective can mean the difference between unnecessarily creating negative emotions or just letting something go. In the grand scheme of life, does it really matter if he charged me 3 dollars for that taxi ride when the going rate is actually 2? Will spending that extra dollar create any real problems for me? Of course not, so I learn to let it go. Taking it even further, I can choose to focus on the awesome fact that I am traveling to all these amazing places, so why let these annoyances that I know I cannot avoid ruin my good time?
In most cases, we can almost always take a more positive tack on the given situation. It can be scary to lose your job, but you can also look at it as an opportunity to find something even better or move into a new line of work more in line with your passions. The end of a relationship can be tough, but you can choose to focus on the amount of time you will have to simply focus on you and becoming your best self, which will help land an even better relationship in the future. It sucks to be stuck in traffic or waiting in a long line for some service, but you cannot change it and it is not like the waiting is physically harming your health, so why expend all that energy being annoyed...it will not make anything move faster.
The next time you find yourself getting heated about something or looking at something in a negative way, think about the other ways you could view the situation that are more beneficial to your well-being. Bringing this idea of perspective into your awareness will help you realize that situations in and of themselves do not really possess any inherent positive or negative value, it is all how we choose to view them.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
I have been traveling, and have traveled to, many countries where many of the people are quite poor.In many instances, they will overcharge tourists for taxi rides and myriad other things. Most of the time, stuff like this does not bother me because I realize how little they make every day, and even when they are overcharging me, it is still ridiculously cheap for me. I have compassion for their situation and I do not take it personally. On days where I am in a bad mood, I notice it would bother me a bit more and I would find myself getting annoyed. This is a perfect example of how perspective can mean the difference between unnecessarily creating negative emotions or just letting something go. In the grand scheme of life, does it really matter if he charged me 3 dollars for that taxi ride when the going rate is actually 2? Will spending that extra dollar create any real problems for me? Of course not, so I learn to let it go. Taking it even further, I can choose to focus on the awesome fact that I am traveling to all these amazing places, so why let these annoyances that I know I cannot avoid ruin my good time?
In most cases, we can almost always take a more positive tack on the given situation. It can be scary to lose your job, but you can also look at it as an opportunity to find something even better or move into a new line of work more in line with your passions. The end of a relationship can be tough, but you can choose to focus on the amount of time you will have to simply focus on you and becoming your best self, which will help land an even better relationship in the future. It sucks to be stuck in traffic or waiting in a long line for some service, but you cannot change it and it is not like the waiting is physically harming your health, so why expend all that energy being annoyed...it will not make anything move faster.
The next time you find yourself getting heated about something or looking at something in a negative way, think about the other ways you could view the situation that are more beneficial to your well-being. Bringing this idea of perspective into your awareness will help you realize that situations in and of themselves do not really possess any inherent positive or negative value, it is all how we choose to view them.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Friday, October 21, 2011
How Do You React When Your Beliefs Are Challenged?
We all have our beliefs and opinions about myriad things in this world, ranging from religion to politics. What has shaped these beliefs can vary among us. Some have reached theirs through deep thought and thorough examination of their life experiences. Some have simply adopted beliefs handed down to them from others in their life and really never questioned their validity. How we react when we encounter other people who challenge our beliefs is quite revealing.
The more negatively we react to someone else's belief, the greater our level of insecurity about our own. Whatever your beliefs are, whether they lean towards the negative or positive aspect of some issue, if you are fully secure in them, you will not care if someone thinks differently about the issue. Sure, you may clearly disagree with his or her stance, but you will not have an emotional reaction to it. You will just agree to disagree. But, if find yourself getting extremely heated and feel the need to prove your way of thinking is right, all that shows is that there is part of you that maybe is not fully sure what you believe is right and the ensuing diatribe is all about trying to convince yourself and soothe that part that is doing the uncomfortable questioning.
I am someone who has chosen not to have children and I sometimes read message boards, blogs and the like by other childfree people. While this decision is certainly not shocking in this day and age, it is still seen as odd and people like myself have been judged and criticized. A lot of childfree people feel defensive about their choice and it is understandable. But, based on some of the comments I see posted that bash parents and talk about how they are all miserable and have no lives outside of their children, it is clear that some of these people have not developed full conviction in their beliefs that having children is not necessary for a happy life and that childfree adults are no less valuable. If they fully believed these things, down to their core, they would not feel the need to expend their energy making these types of statements. They would not care about other people's decision to have children and whether or not this decision made them happy or unhappy. Sure, they make some valid points about some people not giving this decision enough thought or how some parents are not so great at their job, but the manner in which they express these sentiments makes it clear there is some issue there. There is nothing wrong with people who choose not to have children, regardless of their reasoning. But the programming of conventional thinking runs deep and for some who have made this decision, there is some part of them that is not fully convinced they ,in fact, are okay just as they are - hence the bashing. This applies to other types of issues where people get defensive because they are not fully convinced that how they are living their life is in fact, okay.
If you find yourself getting on the defensive when your beliefs are challenged, I urge you to examine that more deeply. It means that something is off there and you need to figure out what it is to bring a greater sense of peace to your life. This is particularly true if these beliefs are negative ones that are making you unhappy or holding you back in some way. Maybe it is time to adopt some new ones that serve you better. If you are someone who gets on the defensive because you feel like your choices are being criticized, you need to work on developing conviction in your beliefs and building a tougher skin to shield yourself against the criticism. As long as you are doing what is right for you and you are not hurting anyone, it does not matter if every person you encounter believes you are wrong.
The more negatively we react to someone else's belief, the greater our level of insecurity about our own. Whatever your beliefs are, whether they lean towards the negative or positive aspect of some issue, if you are fully secure in them, you will not care if someone thinks differently about the issue. Sure, you may clearly disagree with his or her stance, but you will not have an emotional reaction to it. You will just agree to disagree. But, if find yourself getting extremely heated and feel the need to prove your way of thinking is right, all that shows is that there is part of you that maybe is not fully sure what you believe is right and the ensuing diatribe is all about trying to convince yourself and soothe that part that is doing the uncomfortable questioning.
I am someone who has chosen not to have children and I sometimes read message boards, blogs and the like by other childfree people. While this decision is certainly not shocking in this day and age, it is still seen as odd and people like myself have been judged and criticized. A lot of childfree people feel defensive about their choice and it is understandable. But, based on some of the comments I see posted that bash parents and talk about how they are all miserable and have no lives outside of their children, it is clear that some of these people have not developed full conviction in their beliefs that having children is not necessary for a happy life and that childfree adults are no less valuable. If they fully believed these things, down to their core, they would not feel the need to expend their energy making these types of statements. They would not care about other people's decision to have children and whether or not this decision made them happy or unhappy. Sure, they make some valid points about some people not giving this decision enough thought or how some parents are not so great at their job, but the manner in which they express these sentiments makes it clear there is some issue there. There is nothing wrong with people who choose not to have children, regardless of their reasoning. But the programming of conventional thinking runs deep and for some who have made this decision, there is some part of them that is not fully convinced they ,in fact, are okay just as they are - hence the bashing. This applies to other types of issues where people get defensive because they are not fully convinced that how they are living their life is in fact, okay.
If you find yourself getting on the defensive when your beliefs are challenged, I urge you to examine that more deeply. It means that something is off there and you need to figure out what it is to bring a greater sense of peace to your life. This is particularly true if these beliefs are negative ones that are making you unhappy or holding you back in some way. Maybe it is time to adopt some new ones that serve you better. If you are someone who gets on the defensive because you feel like your choices are being criticized, you need to work on developing conviction in your beliefs and building a tougher skin to shield yourself against the criticism. As long as you are doing what is right for you and you are not hurting anyone, it does not matter if every person you encounter believes you are wrong.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
How many times have you tortured yourself by thinking about the past and what you think you should have done differently? How many times do you look at your current life situation and think if you only did or did not do X,Y, or Z two months or six years ago, things would be better now? This is a common problem with all of us because it is not until time passes that we fully realize that we did, in fact, make some mistakes in the past and that we probably should have done things differently. As they say hindsight is 20/20.
But know what? It does not matter now and thinking about it will do you no good. It will hold you back from totally living in the present moment and taking control of your life from this point forward. I recently have suffered from a case of the ‘’woudla, coulda, shouldas.’’ Having gained better control of my thought processes over the years, I caught myself pretty early. Sure, I messed up in the past and I did not use my time well in certain respects. But, what was I accomplishing by stewing over it now? That time is gone and is never coming back. The best I could do was learn from that and focus on now and doing things now that I know will benefit me.
We can do whatever we want if we make the firm decision that we will – sounds obvious, but it is something many of us fail to do. Instead of directing the course of our lives, we fall to the mercy of things outside of ourselves . The past does not matter. The mistakes you made then will only hold you back if you believe they will. Today is a clean slate and anything that happened before that is irrelevant if you decide it is. If your past actions have led you to a less than desirable situation in the present, you are not doomed to live with the consequences of your past decisions. At this point, it comes down to making a choice: lamenting over what you should have done differently and accepting your life as it is in this moment or focus on each moment as it comes in the now and make the choices that will get you what you want. It is simple, but surely not easy sometimes. But if it means being happier, I think it is worth it.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
But know what? It does not matter now and thinking about it will do you no good. It will hold you back from totally living in the present moment and taking control of your life from this point forward. I recently have suffered from a case of the ‘’woudla, coulda, shouldas.’’ Having gained better control of my thought processes over the years, I caught myself pretty early. Sure, I messed up in the past and I did not use my time well in certain respects. But, what was I accomplishing by stewing over it now? That time is gone and is never coming back. The best I could do was learn from that and focus on now and doing things now that I know will benefit me.
We can do whatever we want if we make the firm decision that we will – sounds obvious, but it is something many of us fail to do. Instead of directing the course of our lives, we fall to the mercy of things outside of ourselves . The past does not matter. The mistakes you made then will only hold you back if you believe they will. Today is a clean slate and anything that happened before that is irrelevant if you decide it is. If your past actions have led you to a less than desirable situation in the present, you are not doomed to live with the consequences of your past decisions. At this point, it comes down to making a choice: lamenting over what you should have done differently and accepting your life as it is in this moment or focus on each moment as it comes in the now and make the choices that will get you what you want. It is simple, but surely not easy sometimes. But if it means being happier, I think it is worth it.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Sunday, October 16, 2011
How You Feel is Just as Important as What You Do
How we feel about the things we are doing is actually more important than the actual tasks we are completing. The feeling is what sets the stage for how your plans will progress and the outcomes you will achieve. Without a doubt, the physical tasks play a large role, there are just certain things that need to get done, details that must be attended to. You will not get very far as an author if you never write anything down. You will never get the bank loan without a well-thought out business plan. But, if you are not carrying out these tasks with the right kind of energy, success will come much harder to you or elude you completely. You need to visualize and do whatever else makes you feel good about the things you are doing in life, that will help convince you that you will get all the help you need and that things will work out just as you desire them to. Without these feelings, all the stuff you are doing will be for naught because you will be pushing away the very things you desire.
Because of the importance of feeling good, you need to be able to step back and recharge when you are feeling stressed and scared and you feel the need to force yourself to do certain things on the outside. Proceeding with this state of mind is detrimental and a waste of time. We forget this sometimes, however, and we focus full-force on all of these outside things that need to get done because we believe that is how we are going to get what we want, but it is not. Like I mentioned before, they surely have their place and they are important in their own way. But if your feelings are not supporting getting what you want, if you are not feeling good while you are doing all of these things, you are only holding yourself back with this feeling of force. You would be better off spending your time writing out an affirmative statement over and over or reading a book about the power of your mind in shaping your reality and not going back to the work you need to do until you are in a better place mentally.
Some scoff at these types of suggestions because they believe spending your time doing these types of things has nothing to do with getting what you want; they believe it is hard work and force. Sure, some may succeed by these very means, but it usually makes it a whole lot harder and it takes a whole lot longer. Our minds play a huge role in shaping our reality and it is of your best interest to use this power in your favor, not to your detriment.
Because of the importance of feeling good, you need to be able to step back and recharge when you are feeling stressed and scared and you feel the need to force yourself to do certain things on the outside. Proceeding with this state of mind is detrimental and a waste of time. We forget this sometimes, however, and we focus full-force on all of these outside things that need to get done because we believe that is how we are going to get what we want, but it is not. Like I mentioned before, they surely have their place and they are important in their own way. But if your feelings are not supporting getting what you want, if you are not feeling good while you are doing all of these things, you are only holding yourself back with this feeling of force. You would be better off spending your time writing out an affirmative statement over and over or reading a book about the power of your mind in shaping your reality and not going back to the work you need to do until you are in a better place mentally.
Some scoff at these types of suggestions because they believe spending your time doing these types of things has nothing to do with getting what you want; they believe it is hard work and force. Sure, some may succeed by these very means, but it usually makes it a whole lot harder and it takes a whole lot longer. Our minds play a huge role in shaping our reality and it is of your best interest to use this power in your favor, not to your detriment.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Staying Positive Amidst the Storm of Negativity
Maintaining a positive attitude can be a real challenge in our world. After all, plenty of bad things happen every day and people will point to those things as irrefutable proof we live in a cruel world where we are at the mercy of everything outside of ourselves and that we have limited control over the grander issues in our lives. Most people point to the crappy circumstances in their own lives as further proof and throw themselves a constant pity party. Anyone who tries to be positive or adopt beliefs that reflect the awesome power we have in shaping our lives will be met with a host of negative responses. You will be called stupid, naive, unrealistic or simple. People will think you are living in some kind of fantasy world and jump to refute your way of thinking any chance they get. It will be easy to start doubting yourself and the level of doubt will be in direct proportion to how strongly you have laid the foundation of your new line of thinking.
Listen, lots of stuff happens in the world and I am in no place to make any definitive statements about why; all I know is that when I started focusing on improving my little corner of the world, the way I thought influenced everything that happened on the outside. Good things happened for me all the time once I started directing my attention towards the things I wanted rather than the things I did not -- maybe a particular opportunity did not pan out in some cases, but the line of thinking still brought me what I wanted in another way. That is all you can do really, is focus on your little corner and work on making it better. And to do that, you need to find ways to reinforce these more friendly beliefs, when you are faced with their exact opposite on a constant basis.
Let's face it, while most people are not completely miserable SOBs, they are generally pretty negative in most lines of thinking. They assume the worst, expect the worst to happen and generally lay the blame on outside circumstances to some degree, when it comes to the problems in their life. Most of the stuff that comes out of their mouths is gossip, complaining, fear-based thoughts and other negative junk. Being surrounded by this way of thinking can really put a dent in your plans to improve your life because all the good stuff trying to take root will have a difficult time making a permanent space in your mind.
You need to minimize this exposure as much as possible. It is difficult for sure, but you must take the opportunity anytime you can. For example, if you frequent internet forums where the topics of discussion lead to conversations geared towards fearful thinking, negative thinking, self-pity and blame, simply leave the site. Do not read the postings. Do not post your own responses. Stop watching the news obsessively -- this idea that if you do not digest every piece of information out there, you are ignorant, ill-informed person is nonsense. What purpose is gathering all of that information serving? Sure, you now know about all of the problems in the world...now what? If it inspires you to act in some way, great. But, let's face it, most of the problems are not something we as just one person can directly solve. So becoming engrossed in all of these happenings is only detracting you from focusing your mind on bettering your own life, which can lead to you being able to do things that may actually help larger numbers of people.
Given all the things working against you, constantly feeding your mind information conducive to leading a better life is not an option. Books, blog posts, spending time with like-minded people, whatever works best for you. Read about the lives of successful people -- this one thing right there is proof enough that this way of thinking is the way to go. Do you think people like Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs got where they were in life by feeling sorry for themselves and thinking their lives were dictated by outside circumstances? No, they did not. So, which way of thinking do you think you should pick? The thinking of these types of people or the majority of people around you living unhappy, unfulfilled lives?
Listen, lots of stuff happens in the world and I am in no place to make any definitive statements about why; all I know is that when I started focusing on improving my little corner of the world, the way I thought influenced everything that happened on the outside. Good things happened for me all the time once I started directing my attention towards the things I wanted rather than the things I did not -- maybe a particular opportunity did not pan out in some cases, but the line of thinking still brought me what I wanted in another way. That is all you can do really, is focus on your little corner and work on making it better. And to do that, you need to find ways to reinforce these more friendly beliefs, when you are faced with their exact opposite on a constant basis.
Let's face it, while most people are not completely miserable SOBs, they are generally pretty negative in most lines of thinking. They assume the worst, expect the worst to happen and generally lay the blame on outside circumstances to some degree, when it comes to the problems in their life. Most of the stuff that comes out of their mouths is gossip, complaining, fear-based thoughts and other negative junk. Being surrounded by this way of thinking can really put a dent in your plans to improve your life because all the good stuff trying to take root will have a difficult time making a permanent space in your mind.
You need to minimize this exposure as much as possible. It is difficult for sure, but you must take the opportunity anytime you can. For example, if you frequent internet forums where the topics of discussion lead to conversations geared towards fearful thinking, negative thinking, self-pity and blame, simply leave the site. Do not read the postings. Do not post your own responses. Stop watching the news obsessively -- this idea that if you do not digest every piece of information out there, you are ignorant, ill-informed person is nonsense. What purpose is gathering all of that information serving? Sure, you now know about all of the problems in the world...now what? If it inspires you to act in some way, great. But, let's face it, most of the problems are not something we as just one person can directly solve. So becoming engrossed in all of these happenings is only detracting you from focusing your mind on bettering your own life, which can lead to you being able to do things that may actually help larger numbers of people.
Given all the things working against you, constantly feeding your mind information conducive to leading a better life is not an option. Books, blog posts, spending time with like-minded people, whatever works best for you. Read about the lives of successful people -- this one thing right there is proof enough that this way of thinking is the way to go. Do you think people like Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs got where they were in life by feeling sorry for themselves and thinking their lives were dictated by outside circumstances? No, they did not. So, which way of thinking do you think you should pick? The thinking of these types of people or the majority of people around you living unhappy, unfulfilled lives?
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
You Know, but Do You Do?
The first step in making positive changes in our lives starts with exposing ourselves to the ideas that promote a more prosperous, successful mindset. It is important to read books, blog posts and articles, listen to audio programs, go to seminars ,or do whatever else that helps brings these ideas into our awareness. It takes repetition to hammer them in and replace most of the junk we have carried around most of our lives that has caused us so many problems and frustrations. As you progress, you will find yourself leaning more towards this way of thinking and believing these things to be true. And that is great, because that is the vital first step.
So, we have reached the point where we ''know''certain things. We believe that these things, such as the power of our thoughts and intentions in shaping our world and the importance of consciously directing our thoughts, are the truth. Great. But, the next question is, what are you doing with this information? You can read every book in the world about the law of attraction, positive thinking and the like, but if you never actually work on implementing the tasks that will make these beliefs a reality in your life, you will get nowhere.
What are you actually doing that supports these beliefs you hold in your mind? Do you do written or spoken affirmations? Do you visualize? Do you consciously work on tuning into your thoughts and shifting them when they go off course? Do you write out your desires in the present tense as if they already occurred? Do you work on the mental aspects of getting what you want with equal fervor as you do completing the physical, logistical type things necessary to reach your goals? These are just examples; you do whatever it is that works for you. Even someone as passionate about these things as myself falters at times and I still have a ways to go, so I understand about the blockages that stand in our way.It is something that takes time, but you get better and better at it as you go along. You need to be honest with yourself about this. If you are trying to adopt these types of beliefs, what are you honestly doing every day to make them work in your favor?
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
So, we have reached the point where we ''know''certain things. We believe that these things, such as the power of our thoughts and intentions in shaping our world and the importance of consciously directing our thoughts, are the truth. Great. But, the next question is, what are you doing with this information? You can read every book in the world about the law of attraction, positive thinking and the like, but if you never actually work on implementing the tasks that will make these beliefs a reality in your life, you will get nowhere.
What are you actually doing that supports these beliefs you hold in your mind? Do you do written or spoken affirmations? Do you visualize? Do you consciously work on tuning into your thoughts and shifting them when they go off course? Do you write out your desires in the present tense as if they already occurred? Do you work on the mental aspects of getting what you want with equal fervor as you do completing the physical, logistical type things necessary to reach your goals? These are just examples; you do whatever it is that works for you. Even someone as passionate about these things as myself falters at times and I still have a ways to go, so I understand about the blockages that stand in our way.It is something that takes time, but you get better and better at it as you go along. You need to be honest with yourself about this. If you are trying to adopt these types of beliefs, what are you honestly doing every day to make them work in your favor?
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sending Out the Right Intentions
When it comes to getting the thing we want in life, there are often various tasks we need to complete in the physical realm of things. There is no denying that, but if your mind is not right and you are not sending out specific intentions, you are seriously delaying, or even completely blocking these things from appearing in your life in the manner you want them to, no matter what how right everything you are doing on the outside is. The state of mind with which you do complete the actions in the physical world is even more important and you cannot neglect this. As you are writing your book, formulating a business plan, undergoing education or job training or whatever it is you are doing to accomplish a specific goal, your state of mind must be operating in such a manner that supports these goals getting accomplished, not only while you are engaging in these tasks, but every other time throughout the day.
Are you just focusing on the tasks in the outside world or are you visualizing, doing spoken or written affirmations and thinking that what you want is already yours? Are you convinced you are going to get the thing that you want? Are you just focusing on all the logical things or are you cultivating that faith that the universe will help bring the things you want to fruition in ways you could not have possibly logically anticipated? If you are writing a book, are you putting out the intent that it will fall into the hands of an agent or editor that feels passionate about your topic and needs to sell it, or are you expecting that every single one will reject it because that is what happens to so many other writers? If you are about to start a new business, are you thinking competitively, worrying about all of your competition and how you might not succeed, or are you thinking creatively, knowing there is enough success to go around and outside appearances have nothing to do with it? Sure, we all have doubts and these thoughts may creep up, but if they are the predominant ones in your mind, your reality will conform to them. You need to do your best to shift them when they come and replace them with a thought friendly to getting what you want.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Are you just focusing on the tasks in the outside world or are you visualizing, doing spoken or written affirmations and thinking that what you want is already yours? Are you convinced you are going to get the thing that you want? Are you just focusing on all the logical things or are you cultivating that faith that the universe will help bring the things you want to fruition in ways you could not have possibly logically anticipated? If you are writing a book, are you putting out the intent that it will fall into the hands of an agent or editor that feels passionate about your topic and needs to sell it, or are you expecting that every single one will reject it because that is what happens to so many other writers? If you are about to start a new business, are you thinking competitively, worrying about all of your competition and how you might not succeed, or are you thinking creatively, knowing there is enough success to go around and outside appearances have nothing to do with it? Sure, we all have doubts and these thoughts may creep up, but if they are the predominant ones in your mind, your reality will conform to them. You need to do your best to shift them when they come and replace them with a thought friendly to getting what you want.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Friday, October 7, 2011
Taking That First Step
Often times, we keep ourselves from really going after what we want because we get overwhelmed by all the things we need to do to get there. The intensity of the feeling is usually in direct proportion to how far removed our current life is from the life we desire. We think of all the steps in between and we just shut down. We make excuses. We put it off or maybe abandon it altogether and continue living as we were, regardless of how unhappy or dissatisfied it makes us feel. Everything starts with just one step; whatever it is you want to do, take that first step today, no matter how small it may seem. Even if it is something as little as looking up some piece of information on the internet.
Often times we look at people we admire and we think that we can never be like them, but we often forget that at one point, they were exactly where you are now...that point where they decided they wanted to do something and making the decision to take that first step. These people did not appear out of some magical mist full-grown adults transplanted into their current life. Do not ever think for one second that you cannot have the same kind of life they do, that you cannot do what they do. The determining factor in the equation is you and the decisions you make; you can choose to achieve those very same goals and commit to doing what it takes to make that a reality.
If you commit to taking that first step ,with the right mindset of course -- the mindset that you will be successful and that you will attract everything you need along the way, you will be amazed at the opportunities that present themselves to you to help you in your journey; you will not be alone, you will have this mysterious, inexplicable force providing assistance in ways you cannot even begin to figure out logically.
Really think about something you want right now and what that first step entails and do it today. Do not wait. We all have to start somewhere.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Often times we look at people we admire and we think that we can never be like them, but we often forget that at one point, they were exactly where you are now...that point where they decided they wanted to do something and making the decision to take that first step. These people did not appear out of some magical mist full-grown adults transplanted into their current life. Do not ever think for one second that you cannot have the same kind of life they do, that you cannot do what they do. The determining factor in the equation is you and the decisions you make; you can choose to achieve those very same goals and commit to doing what it takes to make that a reality.
If you commit to taking that first step ,with the right mindset of course -- the mindset that you will be successful and that you will attract everything you need along the way, you will be amazed at the opportunities that present themselves to you to help you in your journey; you will not be alone, you will have this mysterious, inexplicable force providing assistance in ways you cannot even begin to figure out logically.
Really think about something you want right now and what that first step entails and do it today. Do not wait. We all have to start somewhere.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Every Thought is A Choice
No matter what is going on in the outside world, every moment we are thinking about something. Naturally, some of the thoughts are related to the task at hand, but much of the time, there is a whole bunch of other stuff floating around. Unfortunately, most of it is of the negative variety. We are thinking about the problems we may be having, worrying about the future, beating ourselves up about something, reliving past hurts and betrayals. At times, theses thoughts can consume us, it is a terrible feeling. My commitment to personal development has led to a lot of exercises in increasing my awareness and paying more attention to my thoughts, rather than letting them flow through my mind like a raging river. I have come to realize that every thought is a choice.
If I find myself thinking in a negative way about something, I do my best to shift it. Sometimes the shift is harder and I am not as successful as I hoped to be, but I keep trying. This is not to say that you should never let yourself think anything negative ever. For instance, if you are dealing with the loss of someone close to you, it is okay to feel sadness and process the emotions. I do not think you should just try to push them down. I am talking about the kind of thoughts that interfere with your happiness and getting the things that you want. The thoughts of expecting the worse to happen, that things will not work out, that you are not good enough, of worrying what other people think about you and replays of their criticisms. Sure, these things will creep up, unless you have Buddha-like control of your mind, but there is ALWAYS the choice to change your thoughts and to think about something else.
Some might argue that they have valid reasons to be having the negative thoughts they are having, after all, they are experiencing some sort of problem or a negative outcome is a possibility. They are just being ''realistic.'' Having experienced certain negative things in life where fearsome, negative thinking was surely a possibility, I can tell you first hand that shifting my thoughts played a direct role in getting the better outcome, in things working out in my favor. I have no doubt about that. Our thoughts are very powerful in shaping our lives. Sure, you may not get a certain outcome in a very specific instance, but holding thoughts of the result you want will help you get what you want in some way, shape or form.
The next time you find yourself thinking negatively about something, or being ''realistic'', remember the power of choice in choosing where you direct your attention. What you focus on expands and it all starts with the thoughts you choose.
If I find myself thinking in a negative way about something, I do my best to shift it. Sometimes the shift is harder and I am not as successful as I hoped to be, but I keep trying. This is not to say that you should never let yourself think anything negative ever. For instance, if you are dealing with the loss of someone close to you, it is okay to feel sadness and process the emotions. I do not think you should just try to push them down. I am talking about the kind of thoughts that interfere with your happiness and getting the things that you want. The thoughts of expecting the worse to happen, that things will not work out, that you are not good enough, of worrying what other people think about you and replays of their criticisms. Sure, these things will creep up, unless you have Buddha-like control of your mind, but there is ALWAYS the choice to change your thoughts and to think about something else.
Some might argue that they have valid reasons to be having the negative thoughts they are having, after all, they are experiencing some sort of problem or a negative outcome is a possibility. They are just being ''realistic.'' Having experienced certain negative things in life where fearsome, negative thinking was surely a possibility, I can tell you first hand that shifting my thoughts played a direct role in getting the better outcome, in things working out in my favor. I have no doubt about that. Our thoughts are very powerful in shaping our lives. Sure, you may not get a certain outcome in a very specific instance, but holding thoughts of the result you want will help you get what you want in some way, shape or form.
The next time you find yourself thinking negatively about something, or being ''realistic'', remember the power of choice in choosing where you direct your attention. What you focus on expands and it all starts with the thoughts you choose.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Letting Go of The Need to Be Right
We all have our beliefs about various issues. Some of them are quite strong and whenever we feel they are being challenged, we can sometimes get very heated in stating our stance. Let's face it, most of the time we are convinced we are the one that is right and we feel compelled to argue and make the other person see this is naturally the case.This need to be right is pointless, wastes precious mental energy and does not contribute anything positive to our experience. I think one way about something, you think another way. Who cares?
Is this to say that you should never engage in discussions with people who think differently than you or that you should never express your opinion? Of course not, sometimes these types of conversations can be stimulating and open up your mind. But for most people, it is very difficult to have an intelligent, thought-provoking discussion. These interactions usually consist of each person trying to convince the other, without giving any real thought to what the other is saying.
A forum for a freelance writing site I work for is constantly filled with arguments and this medium of communication really highlights this compulsive need of people to argue and prove their point as these individuals are fully capable of moving away from the site and not typing a response; it is not like a face to face encounter where it might be more difficult to disengage. The idea that these people are sitting there typing away hundreds or thousands of words -- during which I am sure there is a feeling of anger, frustration, tightness int the chest and a host of other negative sensations -- just because they feel they must weigh in and let people know what they think.
I cannot tell you how beneficial it has been to me to let go of the need to argue my point or try to point out why someone else is wrong...the sense of peace I feel when I make the conscious decision to not engage is pretty nice and I have come to value it highly. Considering the number of times you will encounter the opportunity to make this choice, it has the potential to profoundly affect your life. Do I still feel compelled to say something? Sure, sometimes I do, but more often than not, I can truly let it go.
The next time you find yourself wanting to argue a point or try to prove that you are right and the other person is wrong, I ask you to stop for a minute and really think ''What would I gain from this experience?'" Will it contribute to anything positive? Will it make you feel truly good or just that negative-energy type good we feel when we think we have won an argument or put someone in their place. Developing more awareness of how the things we say and do impact our lives and what we gain from them will help us see that so many things we concern ourselves with are a true detriment to our well-being.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Is this to say that you should never engage in discussions with people who think differently than you or that you should never express your opinion? Of course not, sometimes these types of conversations can be stimulating and open up your mind. But for most people, it is very difficult to have an intelligent, thought-provoking discussion. These interactions usually consist of each person trying to convince the other, without giving any real thought to what the other is saying.
A forum for a freelance writing site I work for is constantly filled with arguments and this medium of communication really highlights this compulsive need of people to argue and prove their point as these individuals are fully capable of moving away from the site and not typing a response; it is not like a face to face encounter where it might be more difficult to disengage. The idea that these people are sitting there typing away hundreds or thousands of words -- during which I am sure there is a feeling of anger, frustration, tightness int the chest and a host of other negative sensations -- just because they feel they must weigh in and let people know what they think.
I cannot tell you how beneficial it has been to me to let go of the need to argue my point or try to point out why someone else is wrong...the sense of peace I feel when I make the conscious decision to not engage is pretty nice and I have come to value it highly. Considering the number of times you will encounter the opportunity to make this choice, it has the potential to profoundly affect your life. Do I still feel compelled to say something? Sure, sometimes I do, but more often than not, I can truly let it go.
The next time you find yourself wanting to argue a point or try to prove that you are right and the other person is wrong, I ask you to stop for a minute and really think ''What would I gain from this experience?'" Will it contribute to anything positive? Will it make you feel truly good or just that negative-energy type good we feel when we think we have won an argument or put someone in their place. Developing more awareness of how the things we say and do impact our lives and what we gain from them will help us see that so many things we concern ourselves with are a true detriment to our well-being.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Monday, October 3, 2011
Focusing on What You Want, Not What You Don't
A lot of thoughts go through our heads on a constant basis. Some are dealing with the mundane issues of the day, such as the tasks we need to complete. Others, however, are dealing with grander issues, ones that seriously impact how our life unfolds. Unfortunately, these thoughts tend to lean towards the negative. We spend far too much time thinking about the things we do not want and the things we do not want to happen and far, far, far too little time focusing on the things we want in a good way.Plenty probably spend a lot of time thinking of the things we desire in a ''I really want this and I do not have it, therefore I am unhappy'' kind of way. This is not the right approach.
Once I started paying more attention to where I was directing my thoughts, I experienced a realization -- one that even awes me all these years later -- that what I was thinking about influenced the outside events in my life. When I started focusing on thinking about the things I wanted in a good way, rather than thinking about stuff I did not want to happen, things flowed better on the outside good things happened to me and things went my way. How it works, I do not fully understand, but it definitely seems to. This law of attraction thing definitely has its merits.
We have been conditioned to always lean towards negative thinking, after all, we need to be ''realistic,''right? We need to hope for the best, but expect the worst. This mode of thought causes us to always be thinking things will not work out, anticipating all the things that may go wrong, all the bad things that may happen to us in the future. Not only does this line of thinking prevent us from focusing on more productive thoughts, it seems to actually lead to negative things happening on the outside. What we focus on expands and while directing our thoughts may not place us in a protective bubble that shields us from every difficulty possible in life, I have come to realize our thoughts are pretty, pretty powerful in influencing the course of our lives.
If you are like most people, your thoughts are like a runaway train throughout the day. They just come and go at top speed without any conscious effort to control them. The only way to remedy this is to begin paying more attention to them. Hopefully a blog post such as this will bring this idea into your awareness and help remedy the problem. Sometimes you will not catch yourself and you will find that you were off track for a long time, or sometimes you will find yourself still worrying about things, that happens to the best of us. Do not think because I am writing a post like this, I have fully mastered my mind, I still catch myself worrying about certain things, but my efforts to gain greater control over my mind have led to shorter and shorter bouts of this detrimental habit. Do not beat yourself up for slipping, just work on focusing your attention when it starts to happen and reducing it as much as possible.
Really make an effort to start directing your thoughts towards your hopes and dreams with a good energy that says " I am going to get these things'', ''these things will be mine''. Use the law of attraction to your advantage, not your detriment.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Once I started paying more attention to where I was directing my thoughts, I experienced a realization -- one that even awes me all these years later -- that what I was thinking about influenced the outside events in my life. When I started focusing on thinking about the things I wanted in a good way, rather than thinking about stuff I did not want to happen, things flowed better on the outside good things happened to me and things went my way. How it works, I do not fully understand, but it definitely seems to. This law of attraction thing definitely has its merits.
We have been conditioned to always lean towards negative thinking, after all, we need to be ''realistic,''right? We need to hope for the best, but expect the worst. This mode of thought causes us to always be thinking things will not work out, anticipating all the things that may go wrong, all the bad things that may happen to us in the future. Not only does this line of thinking prevent us from focusing on more productive thoughts, it seems to actually lead to negative things happening on the outside. What we focus on expands and while directing our thoughts may not place us in a protective bubble that shields us from every difficulty possible in life, I have come to realize our thoughts are pretty, pretty powerful in influencing the course of our lives.
If you are like most people, your thoughts are like a runaway train throughout the day. They just come and go at top speed without any conscious effort to control them. The only way to remedy this is to begin paying more attention to them. Hopefully a blog post such as this will bring this idea into your awareness and help remedy the problem. Sometimes you will not catch yourself and you will find that you were off track for a long time, or sometimes you will find yourself still worrying about things, that happens to the best of us. Do not think because I am writing a post like this, I have fully mastered my mind, I still catch myself worrying about certain things, but my efforts to gain greater control over my mind have led to shorter and shorter bouts of this detrimental habit. Do not beat yourself up for slipping, just work on focusing your attention when it starts to happen and reducing it as much as possible.
Really make an effort to start directing your thoughts towards your hopes and dreams with a good energy that says " I am going to get these things'', ''these things will be mine''. Use the law of attraction to your advantage, not your detriment.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Whatever You Believe Will Be True For You
What we believe is a powerful force in shaping our lives. It holds great sway over the decisions we make, the feelings we have and how we go about our day to day lives. Because the power of our beliefs is so strong and they make such an impact on our personal reality, whatever we believe will be true for us. We will always find what we are looking for.
If you hold negative beliefs, you will have a lot of negative experiences. Not just because you will make decisions and act in certain ways based on this negative thinking, but also because you are sending out energy and thoughts that contribute to not-so-great things happening to you. It is this second problem that reinforces the negative way of thinking because most people do not realize or believe that they are responsible for these things in any way and they use these bad experiences as proof that we have no control over our lives and that we are at the mercy of outside forces. The reality is, however, how we think can bring on these things and the causation is actually the opposite: We are responsible, not the other way around.
On the other hand, if we hold positive beliefs, positive things will happen to us. Obviously, part of that results from making conscious decisions to do certain things, nothing mystical about that. But, then this positive energy is working in mysterious ways to bring good things to us, just by sheer thought and belief.
The good news about all of this is that we have the power to decide what we believe. Our beliefs can be changed, they are not a permanent part of us, like the color of our skin. If you are unhappy in your life now, you need to examine the beliefs you hold and how they are serving you. You need to realize the power of our thoughts and know that you can improve your life simply by believing it is possible. It will take an open mind and some practice, but I think it is worthy use of your time.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
If you hold negative beliefs, you will have a lot of negative experiences. Not just because you will make decisions and act in certain ways based on this negative thinking, but also because you are sending out energy and thoughts that contribute to not-so-great things happening to you. It is this second problem that reinforces the negative way of thinking because most people do not realize or believe that they are responsible for these things in any way and they use these bad experiences as proof that we have no control over our lives and that we are at the mercy of outside forces. The reality is, however, how we think can bring on these things and the causation is actually the opposite: We are responsible, not the other way around.
On the other hand, if we hold positive beliefs, positive things will happen to us. Obviously, part of that results from making conscious decisions to do certain things, nothing mystical about that. But, then this positive energy is working in mysterious ways to bring good things to us, just by sheer thought and belief.
The good news about all of this is that we have the power to decide what we believe. Our beliefs can be changed, they are not a permanent part of us, like the color of our skin. If you are unhappy in your life now, you need to examine the beliefs you hold and how they are serving you. You need to realize the power of our thoughts and know that you can improve your life simply by believing it is possible. It will take an open mind and some practice, but I think it is worthy use of your time.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Who Cares What They Think?
Caring about what other people think of us is one of the biggest blockades to increasing our happiness and living our life exactly as we desire. We only need the approval of ourselves when it comes to deciding how we want to conduct our lives. If you put too much stock in what other people think, you will have a hard time creating the life of your dreams because most people live a life full of negativity, fear, judgement and a host of other negative influences and these negative influences will constantly show up in their thoughts and opinions regarding how you live your live and the choices you make. Letting their poison get to you will stop you dead in your tracks every time and fill you with doubt. Most people believe in settling for good enough and playing it safe and that life is supposed to be hard. Most people are unhappy with some aspect of their lives and it leads to needless criticisms and judgments about how others live their own.
Let's face it, being positive is viewed as being more of a detriment in our world than being negative, which people often refer to as being ''realistic.'' People who try to be happy and believe in the great power we have in shaping our lives are seen as unrealistic, naive, simple or crazy. Some love nothing more than shooting down the hopes and dreams of of these types of people and reminding them that we live in an unfair, harsh world where life is supposed to be difficult. They will love nothing more than criticizing every aspect of your belief system, but you must remember that what they think does not matter in the slightest.
We all come from different life experiences that have shaped our beliefs about how life is supposed to be and what is right and wrong. All too often, however, ''right and wrong'' judgments make their way into matters that are not matters of right or wrong, but matters of preference. It is not right to have kids and wrong not to have them. It is not right to get a safe job that pays the bills and wrong to switch careers every year. Unless you are aspiring to do something truly wrong, like selling drugs to kids or making money through dishonest means, chances are your choices are just fine and any criticisms are based on the other person's issues, beliefs, and the like, none of which have anything to do with you.
It is surely a challenge to brush off criticism and judgement, especially from people close to you, but you must remember that your opinion is the only one that matters. As long as people continue to be unhappy with any aspect of their own life, they will continue to judge and criticize others. You cannot make yourself totally immune to this hazard, but developing conviction in your beliefs and what you want to do will minimize its influence.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
Let's face it, being positive is viewed as being more of a detriment in our world than being negative, which people often refer to as being ''realistic.'' People who try to be happy and believe in the great power we have in shaping our lives are seen as unrealistic, naive, simple or crazy. Some love nothing more than shooting down the hopes and dreams of of these types of people and reminding them that we live in an unfair, harsh world where life is supposed to be difficult. They will love nothing more than criticizing every aspect of your belief system, but you must remember that what they think does not matter in the slightest.
We all come from different life experiences that have shaped our beliefs about how life is supposed to be and what is right and wrong. All too often, however, ''right and wrong'' judgments make their way into matters that are not matters of right or wrong, but matters of preference. It is not right to have kids and wrong not to have them. It is not right to get a safe job that pays the bills and wrong to switch careers every year. Unless you are aspiring to do something truly wrong, like selling drugs to kids or making money through dishonest means, chances are your choices are just fine and any criticisms are based on the other person's issues, beliefs, and the like, none of which have anything to do with you.
It is surely a challenge to brush off criticism and judgement, especially from people close to you, but you must remember that your opinion is the only one that matters. As long as people continue to be unhappy with any aspect of their own life, they will continue to judge and criticize others. You cannot make yourself totally immune to this hazard, but developing conviction in your beliefs and what you want to do will minimize its influence.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here
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