When we truly put effort into improving ourselves and making positive changes in our lives, how we are currently living is bound to change in at least one, and most likely, several ways. Sometimes, these changes are a natural byproduct of our efforts and sometimes, we need to specifically make certain changes to support our newly outlined goals and desires. One area that is likely to be affected for many of us is our relationships, whether they be with our friends, family, co-workers or romantic partners. The changes that can occur here can certainly be scary and uncomfortable and for many, they can be a major impediment to becoming our best selves and truly shaping our life as we want it to be. The people we surround ourselves with are a major influence on our behavior, beliefs and ways of thinking, for better or for worse.
Once you embark on the journey of bettering yourself and making positive changes in your life, it may become glaringly obvious that some of the relationships you have in your life will not help you on this journey, but hold you back. If you are working on becoming a different person, you need to be prepared for the fact that you may outgrow some of your current relationships now or in some cases need to make a firm decision to cut off ties with certain people who will derail your efforts. This is not to say that you should cut off everyone who thinks differently than you or does not share your same goals and outlook on life. I maintain relationships with plenty of people who view the world differently than I do and it is not a problem. I am talking about the relationships that bring out the worst in you rather than the best, the relationships that drain your energy, the relationships that get you off track with your efforts to better yourself and cause you to spend your time unwisely, the relationships that keep you stuck in a place you no longer want to be.
If the only tie you have to a certain friend is your love of getting black-out drunk on the weekend and you decide you no longer want to drink alcohol, you will likely need to move away from this person if that is the only thing you have in common. If the only connection you have to certain co-workers is gossiping about other people in the office and bitching about your job, and you are making an effort to reduce negative talk, you will need to do something about that. If you decide that you are going to turn your life around, go back to school and pursue your dream job, and your boyfriend is content to keep living the life you can no longer stand, this relationship is no longer working for you.
These types of changes can be scary. Some of the worst influences in your life may be the people who have been in it the longest. In some instances, you will be able to maintain relationships with some of these people and it will not impact you too heavily. In some cases, these relationships will undergo major changes or need to end altogether. When it comes down to it, only you can determine what needs to be done. You need to take a hard honest look at the different relationships in your life, how they make you feel, how they make you act, how they influence your efforts at changing your circumstances. It may sadden you to think of these types of changes and that is natural. But change is the only constant in our life and no aspect of our existence is immune to this influence, including our relationships.