To Parent or Not to Parent?

I have made a decision to be childfree. My decision was not so much about being torn between having a child and not having a child, as I have felt since my early 20's that I did not want children. For me, the decision was to honor my feelings and not take on such a huge, life-changing responsibility with fear of regret being the only driving force. I am happy I do not have kids, because I would not be able to live my life the way that I do. Does that mean I think all people with children are unhappy? Of course not, because for some, having children was something they really wanted to do. Not everyone wants the same life as I do. Of course, I do think there are plenty of people out there, who as much as they love their children, are not happy being parents. I think it is a decision not enough people give nearly enough thought to before embarking on this path.

I have serious doubts that having children would make me happy. I am not convinced I would magically feel differently once my child came given the serious reservations I have now. I could be wrong, but I am not willing to take that gamble. I know many people view children as making a life complete, but I do not feel like anything is lacking. Even as someone who never felt they wanted children, my need to analyze my feelings deeply has led me to give the matter quite a bit of thought and I feel I am making the right decision. If I end up regretting it someday, I will have to make peace with that.

I cannot see embarking on such a huge task that I am not sure will make me happy if it means giving up things that I know will make me happy. In this instance, I am of the thought ''better safe than sorry.'' I could write a whole book on this matter -- actually I am -- but I will leave it here for now.

I would love to hear other's thoughts on this matter. If you have decided not to have children, or are undecided, why do you feel that way? If you have not had kids yet but want to, why? If you had kids, how has the parenting experience measured up to the romanticized version? Has it been worth it? What do you think of people who decide not to have children? Do you think it is wrong not to have kids?


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