We are all guilty of suffering from the victim mentality from time to time. Sometimes we get so frustrated by some of the things going on in our lives that we just feel the need to throw ourselves a good 'ol pity party. For some, however, the party becomes a 24/7 event. Even though we are unhappy, we are comfortable in our unhappiness and it is so much easier to blame outside circumstances for our problems, whether it be our spouse, culture, society at large or the government. Sure, outside forces might be influencing our lives in a negative way, but the extent to which that affects us is up to us; we always have the power within to prevail.
We may be miserable, but it is not our fault. This way of thinking absolves us of the responsibility of taking control of our own lives. No doubt some of us find ourselves in less than desirable circumstances that are difficult to change. Difficult does not mean impossible, however, and even though it might be the hardest thing you have ever had to do, the option is always there. We have all heard the countless stories of the woman who found the courage to leave her abusive husband, the youth who grew up knowing nothing but violence and drugs who went on to be a millionaire, the severely disabled person who accomplishes amazing physical feats that most able-bodied people will never come close to attempting, the person who went through a horrific experience, but found the strength to move on and do amazing things...the list could go on and on.
Think about your own life. Do you find you have a tendency to lay the blame outside yourself for the things going wrong in your life? Whose fault is it really if money is tight because your loser boyfriend cannot hold a job and you are supporting both him and yourself? Do you not have the option to kick him to the curb? Whose fault is it that you hate your job, but feel you are stuck because you spent tens of thousands of dollars educating yourself in that line of work? You could go back to school or find another job, correct? Like I said before, making the changes might not be easy, but they are always on the table as an option. If you have any ounce of control over changing a situation you do not like, and you choose not to, you are adopting the victim mentality. Get clear about the things you do not like in your life, face them head on and change them. Be a victor, not a victim.
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